


A Winter’s Day

by SicVitaEst



Category: Midsomer Murders - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Sorry guys, but we need more jamie stories, i hate this story, poor Jamie, so this is making a comeback, this is an extremely bad and dumb story, tiny ncis crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27366589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SicVitaEst/pseuds/SicVitaEst
Summary: “Barnaby tried to get through to his Sergeant and ask what the fuss was all about, but was just shrugged off.”I wrote this for Wattpad over a year ago, but took it down start of this year from both that site and this one.Started: 3/4/19Finished: 10/7/19
Relationships: John Barnaby/Sarah Barnaby
Comments: 27
Kudos: 9





	1. The (Shipped) Gold Standard

**Author's Note:**

> Obvs all the chapters are written but idk if/when ill post as I’m not 100% sure people will receive it well.
> 
> See end notes for disclaimers and explainations. For example, 20x02 has happened, but for the sake of my plot 19x05 has not happened yet.

_'Sometimes I want to quit this all and become an accountant now'_

Coffee in hand, DS Winter walked onto the small field where a body had been discovered by two joggers earlier that morning. Normally he would have arrived on scene with his Inspector, but DCI Barnaby was meant to be on a family trip and would be back any minute. So he got a lift to the scene by a PC, knowing he'd ride back with his boss.

Heading over to Fleur, he prepared himself for what he would see. The officers who gave him the victim's basic details had been talking about how "unusual" and "unlike Midsomer" it was.

"So what have we got?" He asked without actually looking at what was in front of him.

"Maybe you should take a look for yourself," Fleur sassed.

'Should have expected that' Jamie thought to himself. Him and Fleur didn't exactly get along when they first met, but ever since his 'incident' she'd almost adopted a mothering attitude towards him (still didn't let up on the sarcasm and jokes mind you).

Taking a deep breath, he looked down and his heart stopped. He felt like he knew that man.

But what shook him more was the nature of his death. He would have taken a gruesome beheading or a brutal stabbing over this anyday. The victim had one neat bullet wound in the dead centre between his eyes. This wasn't any old murder, this was a professional hit.

"Sergeant? DS Winter? Jamie?"

The last name was said with a little more force and caused Jamie to snap out of his daydream. He turned his head to see that DCI Barnaby had arrived on the scene and was probably expecting a brief.

"Right, sorry Sir. Victim's name is Benjamin Luckley, 39 and has been working in a bakery here in Badgers Drift for 5 months. No close friends or family in the area. Uniform checked and turns out he has no next of kin either." Jamie said in all one breath. He needed to get away for a minute. He didn't understand fully why this was effecting him but he did understand that he couldn't stick around just incase he said something stupid.

"I need t- I will go question the joggers who found him". And without letting his boss get a word in, he left.

Barnaby turned to Fleur with a questioning and slightly concerned look. "What was that all about?"

She just shrugged her shoulders slightly. He'd been on edge ever since the 'incident' but she just chalked that down to the fact that he'd had a bad near death experience.

Everyone continued on with their own business, Barnaby joined Winter in questioning the people who found the body, and forensics finished up with collecting any evidence left at the scene.

————————————————————————

They decided to head back to the station as nothing too interesting was revealed at the crime scene, in fact, nothing much at all was revealed. The witness interviews were dead ends, it was obvious almost straight away that neither joggers had anything to do with it, they were only just passers by.

The car ride back was silent and awkward for the most part. At the start, Barnaby tried to get through to his Sergeant and ask what the fuss was all about, but was just shrugged off. Normally this wouldn't worry him too much but it just felt different this time, that Winter was hiding something from him.

Arriving at the station, both detectives headed to their respective desks.

"Winter, check phone records and try to trace back his previous jobs and relationships. I want to know everything there is to know about Luckley" Barnaby said in a no nonsense tone.

"What will you do sir?" Jamie was a bit hesitant to question his boss, let alone speak. After the little stunt he pulled back at the crime scene, he didn't want to mess up again.

"I'm going to get a search warrant for his house, and head down there with SOCO. Call me if you find anything."

Barnaby left, leaving Jamie to think and start his background checks.

————————————————————————

It had been an hour and Jamie was already close to pulling his hair out. There was nothing on this guy, it's like he didn't exist at all until he magically appeared in Badgers Drift 5 months ago.

He decided his best plan of action was to go down to the bakery and try to find out more about the mystery man.

After calling Barnaby and arranging to meet him at the bakery, he started to drive. The DCI was just finishing up informing SOCO on the situation and would be there soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - I used this particular lyric and took the meaning at face value and not it's intended meaning. In this chapter I felt as if Jamie was getting slightly irritated yet worried about his job possibly thinking of a change of career (which we all know in the real show he would never do).  
> Song: The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy
> 
> •I do not own any of the main characters in this book or the show itself. All rights go to Caroline Graham and ITV.  
> •This isn't canon at all, Jamie's backstory is a bit far fetched and completely fictional. We haven't been told too much about his background so I thought I'd make it up :)  
> •Nothing in here is completely accurate, so ages and different career entrance ages will be slightly different.  
> •Death of the Small Coppers takes place in September and not at the start of the year. This book takes place 2 months later, the beginning of November.  
> •There is a tiny crossover in this, where I include a supporting character from another show, but I do not use any of the main characters.


	2. Modern Day Cain

**_‘You're an upstanding model of a modern day Cain with impeccable style'_ **

Both men got out of their cars at the same time, DS Winter sighing slightly as the car door closes. Barnaby just gives him a look and proceeds through the door of the bakery. It's small and cute, not the sort of place you'd think Luckley would be working. Jamie shook his head, why is he thinking that? He knows nothing about the victim... right?

"Miss Williams? I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby and this is Detective Sergeant Winter." They show their ID, "Is there somewhere we can talk?"

————————————————————————

"Wow that's a bit of a shock." Miss Williams explains, tightening her hands ever so slightly around her tea cup.

"What do you know about the victim?"

"He turned up in Badgers Drift about 5 or 6 months ago, looking for a small job and somewhere cheap to stay. When he came into my shop asking, I pointed him in the direction of the estate agents and told him he could come back here for an interview"

"A job interview? What did he say in that?" Barnaby leaned forward, keen to her what she had to say. This could finally give them a lead.

"He stayed quiet for the most of it, said he didn't have much work experience, and claimed he had been staying in education. I doubted his statement but let it slide".

"Why did you think he was lying?" Jamie was very curious now.

"It was almost as if he didn't want me to know what he was doing before he came here. That didn't matter to me, but he kept himself to himself. Some times he was distracted, I reckon he was here for something else rather than trying to get a fresh start like he originally said."

"Thank you Miss Williams, you've been a great help."

Barnaby and Winter drive in their separate cars back to Causton. Once there, they are called to get the post mortem results.

"Estimated time of death would be around 3am, give or take half an hour. COD? Well that's a bit obvious." Fleur spoke out just as they walked in the door.

"Gunshot to the head" Barnaby clarified.

"Spot on, you should be a detective." She jokes back to him.

————————————————————————

An incident board had been set up, with Luckley's picture in the middle and nothing but a few small notes around the outside.

"So we have a mystery man who turned up in Midsomer around 5 to 6 months ago, gave vague answers at a job interview and hasn't got much at his bungalow so far. Just brilliant" Barnaby groaned in frustration, he knew this was going to be a long case. "We haven't considered the way he was killed. Why would someone kill a seemingly innocent man?"

Jamie decided it was now or never, he had to say his theory. "Sir, I think this was a professional job".

The DCI looked at Winter and raised an eyebrow as if to motion for him to carry on.

So Jamie did. "The accuracy of the shot for a start, not messy and dead centre of his forehead. It was also done in a field, anyone who knew the area wouldn't have chosen that place for the murder. It's too far from the main village, how could they guarantee that the victim would be down there that early?"

"So you're suggesting that the killer arranged to meet the man in the field? Doesn't fit the profile of a hitman."

Jamie sighed again for what felt like the millionth time that day.

————————————————————————

It was nearly the end of the day and the duo hadn't progressed far, SOCO were slow to start on the flat, they had limited people there due to staff shortages. Just as Barnaby got up to leave, his phone rang.

"Barnaby"

"Uh huh."

"We'll be there soon"

Barnaby hung up and turned to Jamie, who was making little effort to hide the fact that he'd been listening in.

"SOCO have found something important, but won't say over the phone what it is. Probably best for us to see it for ourselves".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Similar to how Ryan and Dallon intended it to mean, the lyric implies that someone has done something in retaliation for something that had happened in the past, similar to how Cain killed Abel because of jealousy (a form of retaliation nonetheless). Whether that implies that Jamie is planning the retaliation or it's another party is unclear at this point in my story.  
> Song: Modern Day Cain by I Don’t Know How But They Found Me


	3. Kids In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for panic attacks and a slight mention of torture/being kidnapped? I’m not sure if this chapter needs one but better safe than sorry.

**_‘Here we are at the end of the road, a road that's quietly caving in'_ **

They entered the bungalow, looking around curiously. It was simple and bare, which fitted the description of the sort of man Miss Williams made him out to be. It was also immediately obvious to them that indeed he wasn't here just for a new life in a quiet village. Benjamin Luckley was here for one purpose, but what that was, neither DCI Barnaby or DS Winter had any idea.

Walking through the bungalow towards the bedroom, Jamie was getting serious déjà vu. There were random objects and pieces that triggered an almost overwhelming sense of familiarity, like he'd seen them before.

When reaching the bedroom, they were greeted by one SOCO officer standing in front of what looks to be a 'crazy board'. Upon further inspection, they saw pictures of Jamie. Everywhere. Starting from when he spent a year in uniform before he was transferred to CID, to just three days ago, when out for lunch with Kam just before she went back to Canada. Red pieces of string connected the pictures - this man was stalking him.

Time seemed to slow down as he took a few shaky steps back, turned around and ran. He managed to make it out of the bungalow and into the back garden before his legs failed him and he slid to the floor, his back to the wall. He couldn't breath. It came back to him. He remembered. He remembered everything. Every. Last. Detail. How he was taken on his last ever mission. They didn't find him for three months. Three months of pure torture. They tried to get to him, to get into the mission. They hated him. Luckley was there, standing in the corner. Watching. Never moving or trying to help. Beaten in unconsciousness on more than one occasion had lead to temporary amnesia.

Jamie didn't notice as Barnaby came round the corner and spotted him, kneeling at his side.

"Winter, I need you to listen to me okay? I need you to breathe"

But he couldn't, he could barely hear the DCI. His voice sounded so far away. All he could think about was that room, the room that he spent countless hours in, being beaten and shouted at. Even a well trained agent could only take so much. The things they said to him, he would never forget.

By now his hands were clammy and his whole body was shaking. His heart was hammering in his chest. It felt like he was there again, in that moment. Jamie knew that was stupid, he knew he wasn't even with MI6 anymore, he was a copper in a small county. Nothing to worry about. 'They're after me again' he thought to himself.

"Winter? Jamie? I need you to look at me okay, can you do that?"

Jamie lifted his head slightly to face his superior, his face was comforting and grounding. He started to breathe a bit easier now.

"That's good. Okay keep taking regular breaths. Copy me." Barnaby said, concern clearly evident on his face.

They repeated this process for a few minutes until Jamie was almost calm.

"Right, we're going to head to the car now. Take it slowly". The pair made their way to the car, and headed straight for the Barnaby household, Jamie falling asleep on the way.

————————————————————————

They had arrived in Causton at the Barnaby's home, with Sarah waiting out front and Jamie still asleep in the passenger seat. Inspector Barnaby had made a couple phone calls on the drive back, one to the Chief Superintendent to explain the situation and have the case handed over to another detective, and the second call was to his wife saying that Jamie wasn't too well and would be staying with them for the time being.

Deciding that attempting to carry his Sergeant into the house wasn't a good idea, as funny as it may be to see him try, he shook Jamie's shoulders gently, as if he would break under his touch. The younger woke with a start, but soon made his way inside.

Sarah had just dropped off Betty to her parents house the previous day, so it was just the three of them in the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - In this particular context, it represents how Jamie's journey of trying to bury this traumatic event has come to an end, and not a pretty end either. The song as a whole is definitely relatable for myself and a metaphor for my life, and I feel in some way it is for this AU version of Jamie Winter.  
> Song: Kids In The Dark by All Time Low


	4. Legendary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally don’t know if I’ll keep posting these chapters, cause the more I read over them before I post, the more cringey they seem.

**_‘You know the truth can be a weapon, to fight this world of ill intentions'_ **

There was this awkward feel in the air. Whilst Sarah made the tea, John told her briefly what happened and how he thinks Jamie should stay with them for a couple of days. Now the three of them were sitting on the kitchen table, just waiting for someone to start talking.

"Jamie, are you okay? What happened back there?"

Jamie looked up slowly at his boss, not wanting to actually talk about it, what if they reacted badly? He had been lying to them for nearly two years. His records from him leaving Oxford to joining the force nearly 4 years ago are sealed.

"I - I - I" He kept stuttering. What was he supposed to tell them?

"Take your time Jamie. Maybe I'll leave you two alone" Sarah begins to go upstairs, but is stopped by Jamie.

"No it's fine. I think you need to hear this too."

Jamie took a deep breath, "I lied to both of you. I never went on a break after graduating Oxford. I - I" Jamie started to panic again, he had to put his mug down because his hands started shaking badly.

Sarah was immediately by his side, holding him and trying to calm him down before it got worse.

"I'm sorry. I - I should be able to tell one story without freaking out."

"Just take your time Winter." Barnaby said in the softest tone he could muster.

"Whilst in Oxford, I was contacted by MI5 and MI6. I ended up graduating early and I joined MI6 the month after. I dealt with bombs, mass murders, terrorists and government secrets. I experienced some of the worst events and people you could ever imagine." Jamie stopped talking for a second, and squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath.

The DCI hesitated before asking this, he didn't want to distress his Sergeant further.

"Is your past related to the recent murder and the crazy board?"

Jamie nodded. "He was there after I was taken whilst on a mission, he watched them beat me, torture me. He never moved from the corner of that room"

The looks on both Barnaby's face were telling - they were pitying him. He shrunk away from their gaze, he didn't like all of the attention.

"Maybe it's best if we all went to bed, get some rest" Sarah suggested. The two detectives nodded, and Jamie reluctantly headed to the guest bedroom.

As he lay in bed, he made up his mind. He wasn't going to stay here, he needed to find out what was going on and put his mind at ease.

Creeping downstairs, he started to slide his shoes on when he heard a noise coming from upstairs. He froze, praying that he hadn't woken anyone up. When no further movement was made, he snuck out of the house and headed back to his own flat. He'd attempt (unsuccessfully) to get some rest then find out what was going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Exactly what it says on the tin. Maybe finally opening up and telling the truth about some events in his past can help him to heal and overcome his demons.  
> Song: Legendary by Welshly Arms


	5. Twisted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I can’t remember if I said this before, but this follows the storyline of the show as normal, but the only difference is that 19x05 takes place after 20x02. Bear in mind, this was mostly written before 20x03 - 20x06 were broadcast so I apologise. 
> 
> This chapter will follow the same lines as the actual episode itself but the story line isn't the same at all, I will put three stars ,like this ***, when I stop following the episode.

**_'Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted'_ **

It was Monday morning and 3 days after he snuck out of the Barnaby's house. Sipping his coffee, Jamie headed straight for his desk, unsurprised that his boss wasn't there, after all it was only 7:30 am.

About an hour had passed before the door opened and his boss entered. 'Okay new objective' Jamie thought to himself 'avoid all eye contact and do NOT try to talk'.

It was blatantly obvious Jamie was avoiding Inspector Barnaby and it was obvious that the boss was watching him intently.

"Jamie-"

"Look sir, I don't really fancy talking about it, I'm fine and I promise it won't affect my work"

"You left our house without telling us, we were worried sick"

"Yeah? Well I didn't ask you to be!" Jamie snapped. That was definitely a big red flag, he'd never disrespect the older man like that.

————————————————————————

They had been given a new case: a young woman murdered on a Jane Austen weekend. He'd met the temporary pathologist when they got to the crime scene, she had seemed pretty interested in him but his mind was else where

————————————————————————

After speaking to everyone involved with the weekend, they headed back to the Barnaby's house.

Jamie was sitting with Sarah at the kitchen table discussing the case so far, a slight awkward aurora still in the air over the events that happened three nights ago.

"We know that Samantha Berry was asking questions about James and Kitty Oswood."

"We just don't know why" Sarah added.

"Exactly" he agreed.

At this point, John had walked in and the two continued to talk.

"Poor woman. I mean she comes to Midsomer in search of something meaningful to her and then gets killed" Sarah contemplated.

Jamie just hums in agreement.

"Terrible isn't it?" John comments whilst putting his jacket on "I'm sorry to interrupt but we should go"

Both Sarah and Jamie stand up. "Yeah and I should start getting ready. I'm looking forward to my do-si-do"

"And not with me I hope" John half jokes.

"No, with Petra" As Sarah said her name, Jamie's head snapped towards her with surprise.

"Petra?"

Sarah just gave him a look and turned back to her husband. "I took you up on your offer and went to the mortuary to pick her brains on TB and in return, she picked mine on Jamie" she looked over to him smirking slightly as he visibly cringed. "Anyway she was at a loose end and so I asked her to come. I think you've got a fan there." She said to Jamie. "See you later"

Jamie sighs and both detectives leave the house.

————————————————————————

The event is in full swing and everyone was in period appropriate attire. It really did look like a scene from a Jane Austin novel. Both Sarah and Petra walked in, and Jamie whistles at them.

"Ladies" Barnaby greets the pair.

They both nod as they walk past and Barnaby and Jamie share a look.

~small time skip~

Barnaby and Jamie headed back inside after spending time in the garden poking around and sharing theories about why phone calls were being made outside.

They stood there and watch the others finish the dancing when Sarah and Petra walked over to them. Petra dragged Jamie away and tried to convince him to dance. Meanwhile, Sarah was telling John about how there was a fire at the house several years ago and revealed how Petra had pointed it out.

Jamie was just about to decline the dance for a final time when Barnaby piped in, "You go for it, it's all part of being undercover". He gives Jamie a cheeky grin and continues to talk with Sarah.

Whilst everyone is dancing, Barnaby catches sight of something in the corner of his eye, a gunman pointing a shotgun at the mirror next to the hall.

In an alarmed tone, he shouts "Everyone get down!".

***

There is a deafening gunshot sound followed by glass shattering. In the midst of people panicking, the Inspector shouts "over there!" to his sergeant and points down a hall near the front door.

He immediately sets off after the assailant, who nearly trips him up by dropping the gun suddenly. He doesn't hesitate though, and jumps straight over the gun and keeps on after the gunman. The chase is lead outside and he thinks he lost sight of the mystery person when he was ambushed, being pushed rather sharply and painfully to the ground.

Jamie attempted to get up straight away but found he couldn't. It wasn't until his third attempt that he made it onto his feet. Barnaby comes rushing over to his side, holding him steady. "Are you oka-"

"Yeah I'm fine" Jamie cuts him off and replies rather too quickly, which alarms Barnaby.

They started to walk back to the house as back up and a forensics team were almost there when Jamie faltered a bit. The pair immediately came to a stop. Barnaby turned to face his sergeant when he spotted something a few meters away in the grass. He walked over and picked it up.

It was a knife? Blood? Where did that come from? Barnaby wandered. His thoughts were cut off by the sound of a body hitting the floor. His head whipped around to see that Jamie had collapsed and was hunched over in what he could only assume was pain.

Alarm bells started ringing in his head as he put two and two together. The older man ran back to the younger's side, asking what happened.

Jamie just replied in a mumble, trying to stand up again. Barnaby wanted to protest about this, he wanted to call an ambulance.

Jamie argued (well tried to as best he could In his current state), saying it would be better if they just went back to the house. Barnaby agreed reluctantly, still not knowing how/if Jamie was injured and to what extent, and phoned ahead to uniform, who had just arrived on scene seconds ago, informing them to call for an ambulance.

A few minutes later, the duo had managed to stumble the short distance back into the house and sat Jamie out of view of the main hall, where uniformed officers were talking to the people there.

Jamie rested his head against the cool wall. Was it getting hot in there? He closed his eyes for a minute, they felt so heavy and he was too tired to keep them open. Why was he so sleepy all of a sudden?

Barnaby tapped his cheek, keeping him awake. Letting him sleep now would be dangerous, especially since he didn't know the nature or extent of his injuries. Scanning over his body, Barnaby noticed a wet patch on the left of Jamie's blazer. He peeled away the navy blue material to reveal that there was a massive red blot on his white shirt which was growing in size at an alarming rate. Jamie was bleeding out.

He worked quickly to put pressure on the wound, shouting at one of the coppers to go and get Petra. She rushed over, followed quickly by Sarah, who was stopped before she could see what was happening.

By this time, Jamie's body had finally caught up with the recent events and had gone into hypovolemic shock due to the massive amounts of blood loss. Petra pushed Barnaby out of the way so she could work to control the intense sweating, rapid heart rate and terrible pain he was in to the best of her ability.

John headed straight over to his wife to discretely explain what was going on.

The paramedics soon arrived and got Jamie, who was now unconscious, onto a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance. The Inspector got in too, informing the uniform on how to handle the situation and reassuring both Petra and Sarah that he'd keep them updated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - No particular reason for this song or choice of lyric, the tune of the song just fits the mood - dark and chaotic.  
> Song: Twisted by Missio


	6. The Kids Aren’t Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the small crossover i mentioned comes into play.

**_'The cruelest dream, reality'_ **

It had been 4 hours since John Barnaby had arrived at Causton General Hospital. It had been 4 hours since John Barnaby had heard any news about his sergeant.

Just as he was about to ask to talk to someone, a doctor emerged from the double doors leading to the rest of the hospital.

"DCI Barnaby?" The doctor called out.

"Yes?" John stood up almost instantly, nearly knocking his chair over in the process.

"My name is Doctor Julian Fitzgerald and I am the one who operated on Mr Winter."

"How is he?" Barnaby said, stumbling over his words, anxious to get information and to see Jamie.

"He was very lucky. The stab wound was deeper than expected, and seemed that the knife was almost twisted upon entry. He was suffering major internal bleeding and I am surprised he stayed conscious and moving for as long as he did"

John just stared at the doctor for a full five seconds in shock before replying "Can I visit him?" He hesitated then added "I need to let his family and the station know what happened"

"Of course, but he may not be awake for a while, we will have to see how he feels"

"Thank you Doctor"

Barnaby was lead to the room and the doctor left him alone with his sergeant.

He sat down and studied the man. Pale, sweating. Jamie really did look ill. After about half an hour, John left to make his calls and get back to work.

Once at the station, he called his wife to update her and tell her where Jamie was if she wanted to see him. He then set about the task of finding Jamie's next of kin. He let the hospital know that he would contact the family himself.

Going through Jamie's record wasn't something he'd done before, he didn't believe it was right to go through someone's records, he'd rather get to know them properly through their work. It wasn't surprising that most of Jamie's records were sealed, it was strange that they were sealed to as far back in his life as when he was just 16 years old. Finally getting to his contacts page, he only saw his own phone number and one other, an American number. Jamie didn't have any American family, did he? The name along with the number didn't look like a family name.

John made the call and was immediately put through to answer phone. He frowned and tried again, this time successfully.

"Hello my name is Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby. Is this Tobias Fornell?"

"Yes this is, what's the nature of the call? I'm in the middle of something important here" a gruff and slightly annoyed male voice answered. In the background, you could hear a lot of hustling and people talking.

"I would say so, you're on the emergency contact list of a Mr Jamie Winter"

There was a moment of silence.

On the other end of the line, Fornell froze for a minute before telling DiNozzo to "shut his mouth" as he was on a joint case and currently with the MCRT. He retreated to the break room across the other side of the bullpen, ignoring the curious glances that Gibbs' team were giving him.

He sat down and took a deep breath, "what happened to him?"

"Jamie was injured during a murder inquiry, but he may have been targeted before." Barnaby paused, he had said too much.

"Inspector, what ever you share with me is strictly confidential. I work with the FBI, it won't be anything I haven't heard before. Now what do you mean targeted before?"

"I think it's best if you come over here, there is a lot to say and he is in a very bad way"

"I will try my best to get down to you as soon as possible. Look after him for me?"

"Of course."

And just like that, the phone call ended. Tobias stood up and sighed, rubbing his face with his hand. This was all very concerning. He walked briskly over to Gibbs and told him he needed a word. They headed over to the elevator where Fornell explained his situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - This cruel dream that Jamie seems to be living is anything but. When he wakes up again he will find his life is still the same and it won't go away.  
> Song: The Kids Aren’t Alright by The Offspring
> 
> Also, anyone else wandering wtf happened over the past few days? I’ve barely been active on tumblr (not the same name as my AO3) because I’m still in shock (happy kind). I won’t get political as I am a Brit, but DESTIEL IS CANON??? Guaranteed the whole scene had dodgy vibes, I didn’t even watch the episode yet but I cried watching the scene on YouTube. Ok rant over.


	7. Fake Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn’t realise how short this chapter was... sorry

**_'Hey, if I smile with my teeth, bet you believe me'_ **

It had been three days since the attack on Jamie, and the DCI had just wrapped up the case the previous night. He headed to work as it was already 8:30 am and decided he would visit Jamie again when Agent Fornell arrived. Once at the station, he bumped into Fleur who walked with him back to his office explaining her report. Barnaby opened the door and sat down, but as soon as he looked up he froze slightly. There was his sergeant looking up at him from his desk, in surprise and slight fear, who quite frankly looked like he'd been to hell and back.

"Doctor Perkins. Inspector" Jamie said in acknowledgment, smirking slightly.

"How? Why? You should be in the hospital. Aren't I supposed to get a call?", Barnaby was stuttering and confused as to why his sergeant thought it was a good idea to come to work in this state. All the while, Fleur just stood there shaking her head and laughing slightly at the situation. Jamie always had been a bit dramatic.

Just as Barnaby finishes his sentence, he gets a phone call on his mobile. He picks up, speaks then hangs up.

"You'll never guess who that was" he chuckled, "but you should really go back".

Jamie was just about to protest when one of the PCs stood at the door with a strangely familiar man. Barnaby greeted the man.

"DCI Barnaby" he shook the mans hand.

"Agent Fornell" the man replied.

Hearing that name cause Jamie to immediately stand up, he hadn't seen him in years. The FBI agent walked over to Jamie and hugged him gently.

"Jamie man what have you gotten yourself into now?" he chuckled as he pulled away from the hug.

"I honestly have no idea Tobias, no idea why it's all coming up now. I mean 'it' happened years ago". When Jamie looked Tobias in the eye, he immediately recognised that the man looks sheepish.

"There's something I neglected to let you know." Jamie could practically hear how much regret was in the mans voice. "I'll speak to you later J". After saying that, the man made his way out. Fleur left to go continue her duties with a bemused look on her face.

When the door closed, Barnaby turned back to his sergeant, still confused but for a different reason.

"J? He called you J? I was under the impression that you were work colleagues?"

Jamie just shook his head and they both continued their paperwork.

————————————————————————

He stood outside the station at about 9pm after finally finishing the backload of paperwork from the past few days. Barnaby had already left, telling the younger man to not stay too long and make sure he got some rest. Jamie had obviously not listened and knew his boss would be mad (and concerned) about how much he was straining himself over the past couple of cases, particularly the man in the field. But then again, he had a right to be worrying over these, someone was killed and had a crazy board stalking him and someone else attacked him on a completely unrelated case.

Due to his tiredness and lack of attention to his surroundings, his usually fast reaction timing failed him as he was attacked yet again and knocked unconscious _. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - This lyric and song as a whole reflects how Jamie is joking about and trying to return to normal for the sake of convincing people he is okay.  
> Song: Fake Happy by Paramore


	8. The Hell Song

**_'I don't think I knew what I had'_ **

As he came around, he realised his head was pounding but couldn't figure out why. He tried to turn his head to get a better idea of where he was but quickly regretted as he was struck with another sharp spike of pain in his neck. He let out a small whine which caught the attention of his attacker who had been previously hidden in the dark corner of the room.

"Detective Sergeant Jamie Winter, has a ring to it." The irish man chuckled.

Jamie stayed silent.

"Not talking? Fine by me"

The mystery man hit him hard, breaking his nose almost instantly. Jamie still stayed silent, earning him another punch. He had a small smirk on his face.

"Say something!" The man was getting angry now.

" _ Gabh suas ort féin _ " he spat blood at his captor.

Without warning, the man pulled out a gun and held it to Jamie's throat, pushing against his windpipe.

"What did you just say to me?!?"

" _ Gabh. Suas. Ort. Féin _ " he repeated the previous statement, gasping for air before losing consciousness.

————————————————————————

Friday morning, 10am. Barnaby shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, looking up every five minutes at his sergeants desk. He was an hour late, which was to be expected. After all, John suspected the man stayed late and the events of the past few days had probably taken its toll.

His concern was spiked however when Agent Fornell had walked into the office, looking for Jamie because he hadn't met with him last night as previously arranged.

Friday afternoon, 3pm. After a visit to Jamie's apartment and finding no trace he had even been back last night, that's when the real panic set in. Barnaby decided that the next course of action would be to check the cctv from out the front and back of the station.

Whilst this was being done, Tobias was contacting the agents on that mission, who had either stayed with MI6 or joined the FBI (like himself). He needed back up, he knew this is going to go south quickly and he couldn't trust MI6 to sort it out.

He rejoined Barnaby in the viewing room when they found the footage of Jamie leaving. It was late, as the DCI had suspected, when he was spotted leaving the station. It all happened so fast, one minute he was standing at the bottom of the steps and then he was hit around the back of the head and dragged away.

Barnaby stood there and stared at the screen, in slight shock and disbelief, whilst Fornell started making more calls. They needed to find him soon, Jamie didn't stand much of a chance.

He sat down and put his head in his hands, it was all his fault. Barnaby sat beside him and demanded an explanation.

————————————————————————

He was awoken by more than one person entering the room. The gravity of the situation had only just sunk in and he could feel the tightness of the ropes around his wrists, the darkness of the room and the impossibly bright light shining down on him. It burned his eyes.

Jamie lifted up his head, not without a significant amount of trouble, to face the small audience he now had. There were now three people in the room; the man he was attacked by, someone he couldn't yet identify and....

When he saw the third man, he started to panic internally. It's was HIM. The man who led his torture all those years ago. The man who traumatised him, who nearly compromised his mission.

"Ah Jamie, it's such a pleasure to see you again" he smiled a wide, Cheshire Cat smile.

That smile send shivers down Jamie's spine, but he wouldn't give them the satisfaction of letting him know that. The other two men retreated to the corners of the room, just like Luckley did the last time.

"Wish I could say the same McGrath" he knew mouthing off at him wouldn't do himself any favours but at this point he was past the point of caring, he knew he hadn't been here for long but he was bored of it.

That comment earned him a slap to the face, causing him to wince. 'McGrath' smiled this.

"What is the point of this? You got what you wanted didn't you?" That's what he failed to mention to Barnaby, when they attempted to get Jamie back, many agents were killed or injured which is what McGrath really wanted  (to put a dent in the agency and stop the investigation into his network).

"I didn't though. YOU were the one who found me out. YOU were the one who lead me to them. I had to spend YEARS under your government’s imprisonment, this is just revenge. Unfortunately, our first attempt wasn’t successful, so here we are.”

He walked over to a table Jamie hadn't noticed before, and picked up what looked to be an industrial lighter, he couldn't quite tell for sure. His vision was starting to blur now, he was way too tired and hurt.

McGrath turned to face his prisoner, that grin back on his face.

"Shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Need I explain?  
> Song: The Hell Song by Sum 41
> 
> Sorry for lack of updating, life has been a bit mad this past week for me, but we are almost done with this re upload!
> 
> I tried to incorporate some Irish Gaelic into these last couple chapters, with the help of an Irish speaking friend and google translate. These are in no way completely accurate and if you have better translations then please let me know! I hate how cringey these chapters are but this is nearing 2 years old so eek.
> 
> Gabh suas ort féin - Go fuck yourself


	9. Knives and Pens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning for abuse/torture?
> 
> This is the penultimate chapter eek! There will be a little bit more of a reference to NCIS in this chapter, but not much. It’s a bit of a short one, sorry 😬

**_'I've lost all faith in this blurring light'_ **

It had been two days since they had discovered that Jamie had been taken and the team Fornell had conjured up with the addition of Barnaby had been working nearly none stop to find out who did this. None of the Midsomer Constabulary were told what was going on, only that both Barnaby and Winter had to leave the county for a case.

"Oh god no" were the first words to come out of the FBI agent's mouth that day, and they were definitely not reassuring.

The whole team rushed over to see what was going on. Fornell just threw his phone onto the table for the others to see as he starts pacing. Various curse words were thrown about as they saw what had been sent; it was a picture of Jamie and the whole situation did not look good. Barnaby stood there just staring at the phone before snapping back to reality as Fornell started barking new orders at the team. By now Fornell knew for sure who was behind this and he is not going to let him get away with it again.

His phone started ringing, which made himself and the DCI jump, before realising who it was.

"Gibbs what do you want, I'm in the middle of something important"

"Where the hell are you Tobias? I just had to take down the suspect and his whole goons squad with barely any backup which ended up with McGee in the hospital!"

"Jethro you don't understand. This is way beyond my control" Fornell was shouting and irritated at this point, he didn't need Gibbs having a go at him right now. He ignored the looks he was getting.

"Tobias what is going on?"

Was that genuine concern Fornell could hear in his voice?

"I can't tell you, I'm sorry. Is Emily safe?" He was incredibly concerned for his daughter, if everything went pear shaped here then they could go for her next.

"She's fine, staying with me, you know this. Why wouldn't she be safe?"

"Just keep an eye on her Gibbs" and with that he hung up, leaving the other man slightly confused and concerned.

————————————————————————

"Wakey wakey"

Jamie was slowly coming to, but startled awake when he was slapped quite harshly around the face. He had no idea how much time had passed but he was glad he passed out when he did, the pain was getting way too much. His whole body burned.

"Look at me,  _ muc _ " It was McGrath, again. He slowly rolled his head over to look at the man, whilst taking note that he had been moved and strapped onto a metal table.  _ At least I don't have those ropes anymore. _

"You have no idea how much I hate you, how much I want to kill you. But that wouldn't be any fun just doing it out right would it?"

At that moment, the other two men that Jamie had seen earlier came in with a small box. After leaving the mystery box on the table beside his head, they left swiftly. McGrath looked in the box and pulled out a syringe and a small jar, containing some drug that he couldn't identify.

But first Jamie was given some water, which he took hesitantly. He knew he was only given this for him to stay alive long enough for McGrath to have his 'fun'.

"You passed out too quickly last time, I had to stop." He wore a sickening smile "you're getting weak my boy".

Jamie cut him off quickly "I am not your boy". He tried to sound threatening but the words barely came out as a whisper. McGrath and co had done much more to him since the first burns and it left him covered in blood, sweat and tears. He dreaded to think what he looked like at that moment.

McGrath said nothing as he quickly injected Jamie with the syringe. He felt himself go fuzzy almost, as if his head had been stuffed with cotton wool. His senses had been heightened tenfold and he found he couldn't move. McGrath came towards him with a knife, grinning.

In that moment, Jamie knew that this wasn't going to end well. For anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - He has truly lost all faith that someone will come and save him.  
> Song: Knives and Pens by Black Veil Brides
> 
> muc - pig


	10. Hickory Creek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of this re upload. Idk if I’ll do any more fics, let me know what you think I should do.

**_'It's time to walk away with nothing left, nothing left in my soul, I'm fading into myself'_ **

He woke up again in that blasted chair. Time had passed since he last remembered, but how much he didn't know. Knowing things wasn't one of his strong points at the minute, he was barely aware of what was happening around him, or lack there of. He hadn't noticed too much before, but it was cold. Very cold. Still feeling the effects of the drugs, Jamie decided it was time to try and find a way out.

Just as he started to shift the chair, McGrath and his goons came in. Another interrogation session went under way.

"Is díoltas é seo. Chuaigh tú isteach i mo líonra. Thóg tú gach rud uaim!" The Irish man screamed, hitting Jamie in the face. Hard.

Jamie's vision began to fade in and out, his body unwilling to take any more pain. "Ní dhearna mé aon rud duit." He paused to spit out the blood that was pooling in his mouth, "Mharaigh tú mo chairde!"

————————————————————————

It had been five days. Five days since they had noticed Jamie Winter was missing. Five days without a lead...

Suddenly Tobias was snapped out of his own thoughts with one of his agents shouting they had something. Both Fornell and Barnaby went over quickly to see what they had. One of the surveillance ops for a different case run by MI6 had monitored suspicious activity that may be related to Winter's disappearance.

Not willing to take any chances or possibly leave Jamie in that state any longer, both men started to form an extraction plan. The DCI insisted on going in, to which Fornell reluctantly agreed. Despite his lack of training, John Barnaby wasn't half bad with a gun, and was licensed.

With a plan now formulated, the group suited up and headed out to the site, 40 miles north of the county.

——————time skip - 40 minutes——————

There was a large bang and muffled shouting. McGrath suddenly stopped what he was doing and looked at the door anxiously. When the voices became more clear, they could make out the word "clear" being repeated. They had been found. In a panic, the extra men armed themselves and went outside to deal with it. How had the cops found them?

Whilst McGrath was thinking, Jamie reached out and used all strength he had left to kick him hard in the knee, sending the irish man to the floor. Letting out a loud shout, he held his knee and glared at Jamie.

Gunshots could be heard in the distance, making Jamie think about how big the building he was in was, and would they find him in time.

Footsteps we getting louder and louder until they reached the door to the room he was in. McGrath immediately jumped up, pulling a gun that was tucked into the back of his jeans, and pointed it at the door.

Fornell was the first one in the door, but immediately stopped when he saw the gun pointed in his direction.

"John McGrath, long time no see eh?" As he spoke, he tried to edge closer to where Jamie was sat. His attempt was short lived though as McGrath soon spotted he was moving and repositioned the gun, pointing it right at Jamie.

"Don't do that. Stay there or I'll shoot."

"Okay okay." Fornell could tell the man was frantic, that he hadn't had much support after his network was infiltrated so was desperate for revenge. He was deadly serious.

"Put your gun down, all of you!"

Everyone in the room did as he asked, but he hit Jamie with the gun, knocking him out. Fornell flinched.

"There was no need for that." He went to speak further but was interrupted.

"You have NO IDEA. He marked me as a terrorist. It is all his fault. What happened to your team? HIS fault! Stop defending him!" The next few seconds we rather hectic, McGrath pulled the trigger, but was tackled by a member of the team, sending his shot askew and hitting Jamie in the side rather than the chest.

Barnaby ran over to his sergeant and untied him from the chair as Fornell helped his team hold the man on the ground and attempted to disarm him.

"Winter, Winter. I need you to wake up. Winter!"

Jamie's eyes fluttered opened briefly. "Sir?"

Barnaby went to reply when McGrath, still in the hold of Fornell's makeshift team, shouted something unintelligible in Gaelic at Jamie. He turned his head slowly from his place on the floor towards the man who was now standing and spoke three words from the bottom of his heart.

"Gabh go hIfreann." Jamie smirked before passing out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These translations are probably very wrong, I used my extremely limited knowledge along with help from an old friend and online translators. If you know a better way I could have written these Gaelic phrases, please let me know :)
> 
> Is díoltas é seo. Chuaigh tú isteach i mo líonra. Thóg tú gach rud uaim! - This is revenge. You joined my network. You took everything from me!  
> Ní dhearna mé aon rud duit. - I did nothing to you.  
> Mharaigh tú mo chairde! - You killed my friends!  
> Gabh go hIfreann. - Go to Hell.
> 
> Song: Hickory Creek by Whitechapel


End file.
